Richard Blackwood Web Site

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- Jokes -

Richard Blackwood Cartoon

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"

The father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, coz I still have mine."

A young virgin marries a Greek man and before the wedding her father tells her that, being Greek, her husband may ask her to turn the other way in bed one day, but she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to.

Sure enough, after a couple of months, her husband asks her to turn over and she says "No, my father said I don't have to do this."

Her husband says "OK, that's fine by me, but I thought you wanted children."

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough

Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell

Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract

Q. How do men exercise on the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini

Q. What's a mans idea of honesty in a relationship?
A. Telling you his real name

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Yo momma so fat, people jog around her for exercise

You should always give 100% at work... 12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday

I pretend to work... They pretend to pay me

Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'

Is your dad a terrorist? Coz your Da Bomb!

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she heard one of the men say the following:

Emma come first
Den I come
Den two asses come together
I come once-a-more
Two asses, they come together again
I come again and pee twice
Den I come one lasta time

You foul-mouthed swine, said the lady angrily. In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public. Hey, coola down lady, said the man. Who talkin about a sexa? I'mma justa tellun my frienda how to spella, Mississippi.

More Jokes Soon...